Holidays - Easter 2014

Ah, Holidays. 

I normally have a love / hate relationship with holidays. The rushing; the anticipation; the worrying about where, who, when and what; and the food. Food is good. Holiday food is better. Holiday food holds memories, traditions, and that certain specialness of being a once in a while food. It has that rare ability of tasting as good as you remember.

And then there is the meat stuffing. The meat stuffing has history. As in a hundred years of history. The recipe was brought here from Italy by my mother's father's mother, who learned it from her grandmother, and so on and so on. This stuffing, the recipe, is my inheritance, in many ways, my birthright. It is the dish that everyone looks forward to at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This stuffing stole my childhood as well. You see, for twenty some-odd years I would be in the kitchen, as the only granddaughter for my grandmother, having learned the recipe from her mother-in-law, to teach the recipe to. Every. Single. Year. Every year when my brothers would be occupied by football, whether playing or watching, I was in the kitchen working. I learned how to add the ingredients - how much of this, when to add that. And I wasn't taught the exact recipe and allowed to repeat it every year. No, my grandmother would send me out of the kitchen to go grab something else to put on the table - corn, bread rolls, soda, etc., and add ingredients unknown to the pot. Ingredients that I was not privy to until the year after and the year after that, slowly unfolding the magic of this recipe like a pirate's map that would only reveal its treasures after years of patience and perseverance in search of 'x' marks the spot. When I was 9, it was torture. Now, at 34, it is a treasure. It is a gift. One that was mine alone, entrusted to me to prepare every year with love for my family so that they can, through our heirloom dish, connect with our heritage. It took me over twenty years to learn and master this recipe. Is it no wonder I refuse to give it away? I have been asked for the recipe by well meaning sisters-in-law. I realize that they only want to prepare a dish for my brothers that will make them happy. But you see, my brothers were given a different gift. They were given football games and lazy mornings and exciting afternoons and lazy after dinner evenings. I was given the gift of knowledge. I do not hoard the recipe, I have invited my sisters-in-law to learn as I did, year after year. No note taking, no cheat cards, just doing, and they have not accepted my invitation. While I understand their point of view - "its just a recipe, just write it down so I can make it for your brother, it will make him happy"; what I have not been able to articulate properly is that the acting of cooking this stuffing is a way for me to reconnect with my grandmother, my great-grandmother and all the women from whom I come. This is my direct line to my ancestry, my brothers may enjoy it as they always did, and I get to remember those long days in the kitchen as a child, as a teenager and as a young woman, learning how to make the meat stuffing that I would one day learn to cherish for ever so much more than the ingredients I throw into the pan. 

I would teach my sisters-in-law or my brothers, happily. Though, this recipe no longer belongs to me. Now, it belongs to my niece and my daughter, should they choose to learn how to prepare it. You see, this knowledge is on loan to the current cook from future generations. It is a treasure, but one that is not easily won. It requires work, dedication and perseverance. The secret and beauty of this recipe is time. It is time in the kitchen with grandmothers, mothers and daughters, sharing secrets, sharing knowledge, revealing hopes and dreams, hugs, and yelling too (we're Italian, sometimes the most passionate of love can only be expressed at the top of our lungs!). I hope if my sisters-in-law or my brothers read this, it better explains why there is no way to jot down the ingredients and recipe to share. The meat stuffing is so much more than that. So, when my younger brother's wife requested the stuffing for Easter dinner (which we celebrated on Palm Sunday - don't ask) I was more than happy to oblige her request. Though completely off season as it is a harvest stuffing, it didn't matter, I was happy to provide a link to our ancestry. I made a few adjustments to make it more 'seasonal', but they aren't permanent. While I will not divulge any ingredients, I will however share a picture. Because as my grandmother would say and my mother always says "doesn't that look pretty!" 

Have a wonderful Easter if you celebrate. Happy Springtime!!! Green grass is upon us at last!