Things that suck about being a mom #140511 and a Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Sooo.... she slept 3 hours. I've been restless, dozing in and out. Brutus, once he's down for the night is as stationary as the couch he lays on, always has been. UNLESS, he has to go outside. Then and only then does he get up in the middle of the night. AZ used to graze on her leftovers and water, Brutus won't budge not til morning and you better be prepared to forklift him if necessary. So, now as he is ailing and has a hard time sensing his bladder and bowel, if he's moving at 2 am chances are he's already going. And he was noisy as he dragged himself by her door, which was wide open. It's only three hours later, I know she's not hungry. So now we are crying it out again, second time in one night. I know in the long run this is important, but damn, everything in me hurts about this. My heart, my head, my ears. I ache for her, crying because Brutus woke her, he's not at fault, he's a good boy. I want to go in, hold her and comfort her. I went in after I finished cleaning the little bit of mess - I caught it in time and sent daddy outside with him- so I don't know how long that was. Rubbed her back, said I loved her and that it's time to go to sleep. She's been winding down as I type, but every time I think she's calmed and is comforting herself back to sleep and is quiet she starts up again. But I know if I go in there it will only rejuvenate her efforts. This. SUCKS dirty jock straps dipped in fertilizer mud.....

'Crying-it-out' because the pediatrician recommends it for long term sleeping success, probably because at the baby's last well visit I looked like the tangled, worn and wet cloth diapers I've pulled dripping from the washing machine just the night before. 'Crying it out' sucks - BIG TIME! I'm told it is worth it in the long run because then the baby in question sleeps. And I guess 45 minutes of middle of the night crying is not AS bad as it could be. And while I know that my daughter needs to learn limits and this is only one form of her protesting her wants and me being firm and resolute is setting the stage for the future of our relationship - when she wants that toy/lollipop/sleepover/car in the future, she'll know from her own experiences that if and when I say 'no' I mean 'no', there is a small part of me, the baby within me, who wants desperately to cling to her, hold her, comfort her, tell her it will be ok and fall asleep with her cuddled in my arms. This also sucks. Doing something NEITHER of us want and not doing something that we BOTH want because it is what is good for BOTH of us - that part of being a mom sucks.